Connecting with yourself


I’ve had some stressful moments lately. This isn’t a big secret; I’ve written about it as well. With the transition from one country to another, changing flats, universities and languages, I’m pretty sure that even the most calm person would feel stressed. In all that confusion over all the changes, I find myself quite unable to be my normal self.

It almost feels like everything has to stop in this period – I cannot do what I usually do; I haven’t done yoga for a while, I don’t feel like making art, I can’t even push myself to take care of myself the way I usually do. B and I haven’t cooked our usual meals because we are always in some kind of a hurry, and things like putting on make up are now the last thing on the list (and thus never done).

I am not the only one; B reacts the same way. And I imagine a lot of you as well. But why do we act like this? Being in a period of distress means we should pay more attention to what we eat, to do some exercise, to make sure we feel good about ourselves. It is a way to make sure we are stable, that we can accomplish the goals we have. So why do we neglect it then?

I guess that being stressed means being in the state of alert for a significant amount of time. It is an inheritance of our ancient ancestors; only they felt like that when someone was about to, I don’t know, eat them. It was their survival instinct that helped them not to get eaten or killed and evolve into what we are today. The only problem is, no one is going to eat us today (well, hopefully). Our bodies think that someone is going to attack us even when we’re having something not so dangerous, such as a test in school, or a job interview. Granted, those are important, but not to the same level like being eaten.

Not all things should be on stand by because we are going through some changes. Especially not those things that make us ourselves and that we enjoy doing often. No one is going to eat us, so we don’t need to act like they will.

I spent these last few days away from the internet and civilisation, in a beautiful village in the mountains with my grandparents. And in between the golden fields, blackberries and sky-scraping trees, I’ve noticed just how many things I put on stand by lately. We are always with ourselves. Even if no one else is around. I read a saying somewhere that said something like, we spend our entire lives in our heads, so we should make sure those are comfortable places to be in. How very true.

We are always there, so we should always remain connected to ourselves. One part of that is in acknowledging how we feel, because, well, no point in denying it. But at the same time, we cannot let ourselves get completely lost in those feelings. And even the little things, such as putting on make up, or doing yoga, or having a morning coffee in silence, sometimes matter a lot. Because those are the things that help us get calmer, more relaxed and better connected with our inner selves.

What about you? Have you ever had those moments when all normal life had to stop because of stress? What are your ways to defeat it?

One of those things for me is taking pictures. So I brought my camera to the village, went for a little photo shoot with B and my sister and enjoyed the beautiful nature around us. You have to start somewhere, right?

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset



3 Comments Add yours

  1. JD says:

    Can very much relate to this. My stress turned into anxiety and mild panic attacks and I went through an identity crisis. I was completely disconnected from myself and it was mostly cos kept saying yes to things I didn’t want to do. So this year I’m putting up barriers and reconnecting with myself doing the things I love: reading, writing, creating, dancing.
    Wishing you well on your journey, great that you’ve got your camera.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anja says:

      Thanks! ❤️ Sounds like a good decision and a good plan. Sometimes we just need to say no. All those activities are beautiful and relaxing, and great to make the panic attacks and anxiety go away. And they can even be a way to discover yourself all over again. Wish you well on your journey as well, I hope your anxiety goes away, and enjoy every moment with yourself. ❤️


      1. JD says:

        That’s it, it’s when I most feel like myself and when I’m happiest. Thanks heaps!

        Liked by 1 person

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